aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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