Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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