Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We don't watch enough power rangers
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
