I'm lost and stupid without you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
