is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
