you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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