I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
