Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Say something about gay babies.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
