Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
