does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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