Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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