I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
