Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
His nipple licking is glorious
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