TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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