she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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