"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
