We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
