so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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