dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
