now i know why i became what i already was.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
