I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
