He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
