so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
