Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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