Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
