In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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