im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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