I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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