We named our party play list daddy issues
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
