Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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