yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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