seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Farmville is her only friend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
