I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
