ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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