I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
