i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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