One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
