i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
