So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
