Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
