Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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