Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
