I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
