The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
