I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
