I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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