I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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