do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
