she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
