I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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