sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
